Huck’s Fearless Forecast
The turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce has been eaten—and eaten—and eaten—and the other Bulldogs and the Cheatin’ Rebels have fought—literally—over their egg-shaped football trophy while millions of people, I am certain, have done the same thing in Wal-Marts and Target stores and parking lots all over the country and now—NOW—it is time for the biggest rivalry of the year. Don’t tell me about Florida, or Auburn or Tennessee. This is the real rivalry, passed down by my daddy’s generation. TO HELL WITH TECH! It’s the weekend. Let’s pick a few games.
Arkansas at Missouri. Quick now. Pop quiz. What’s the name of the Arkansas head coach? It’s Chad Morris. He looks like a younger Bill Anderson. He makes $3.5 million a year and he came to Fayetteville having won 14 games in three years as a head coach. Now he has won 2 more—with wins over Tulsa and Eastern Illinois. The Razorbacks lost to North Texas by 27 points. Drew Lock goes out strong.
Mizzou 42 Hogs 21
Kentucky at Louisville. It’s basketball season. Nobody care. No, I mean literally, nobody cares.
CATS 31 Cardinals 17
Oklahoma at West Virginia. Yeah, I’m going out of the conference for this one but I’ve never gotten to pick a game that goes over 100 points before and besides, they say that if we slip up against Alabama in the SEC Championship game that we could get a rematch against the Okies in the Sugar Bowl. I don’t see that happening on either end.
Couch Burners 55 Sooners 51
Cocky at Frank Howard’s Rock. I heard a national commentator say that South Carolina fans are pleased with the progress Will Muschamp has made in Columbia. 6-4 must be more impressive than it used to be. They are about to be 6-5.
Clemson 38 Carolina 14
Tennessee at Vanderbilt. I don’t know when the last time was, if ever, that Vanderbilt beat Tennessee 3 straight times in football. I don’t know if that happened if all 23 Vandy fans would rush the field, but I think we will have an opportunity to find out Saturday.
Dores 22 Vols 21
Florida at Free Shoes. Just when Willie Taggart thought it was safe to go to the Tallahassee Wal-Mart to do a little Christmas shopping, this happens.
Gators 27 Criminoles 20
LSU at Texas A&M. The school with the craziest fans in the conference will visit the school with the second craziest—but most organized—fans in the league. This could turn into a really good personal rivalry between the coaches of these respective teams and I called Ed Orgeron this week and asked him what he thought about that. He said a whole bunch of stuff I couldn’t decipher followed by “Go Tigers!” Good enough for me.
Tigers 28 Aggies 21
Auburn at Aladambama. If the people who make those brilliant financial decisions on The Plain don’t already have buyer’s remorse about the big bonus and contract extension they gave Gus Malzahn last year, they will my midnight Saturday. Tide Rolls.
Alabama 44 Auburn 10
North Avenue Trade School Between the Hedges. The Administrations of the two schools have met and agreed that the Jackets, if they win, will not damage our hedges this year. In related news, Stacey Abrams announced that if Governor Brian Kemp invites her to his family Christmas dinner, she will only go through the buffet line once. Fat chance of either one happening. Everyone is scared to death because of the “perfect option” that Paul Johnson will bring to Athens Saturday. A reminder. With that “perfect option” he beat a Virginia team in OT that had lost to Indiana. He beat a struggling 6-5 Miami team by 6. He lost to Duke, Pittsburg and South Florida. I know he has beaten us the past two trips to Athens. But these ain’t them Dawgs. Georgia has a better player at every position and if we can’t slow down Tech’s offense and score enough points to beat a middle of the road ACC team, we ain’t getting our money’s worth out of our coaching staff. We can, we will and we are. TO HELL WITH TECH. DAWGS ON TOP!
Georgia 34 Nerds 17
Look for me Saturday. I’ll be the good-looking guy in the red rain-suit. Go Dawgs
Darrell Huckaby is an author, educator and syndicated newspaper columnist. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.